Making Mormon Spirit Babies
By Ed Decker, Saints Alive Ministries
& Michelle Grim, Life After Ministries
Mormons believe that when one becomes a god over his own planet and gets his many polygamous goddess wives they must reproduce spirit children having sex the same way they did on earth [remember, they are physical beings]. But in order to populate a planet like earth, the god-man has a big job cut out for him in the reproducing area.
Forgetting about any of his other responsibilities as a god, look at the job of just making babies and keeping his wives eternally pregnant…
Demographers have come up with estimates ranging between 69 billion and 110 billion humans who have lived on earth. That gives us a spread of 41 billion, a pretty formidable margin of error.
One study estimates that 96,100,000,000 people have lived on the earth to date.
Another study says:
|Number who have ever been born||106,456,367,669|
|World population in mid-2002||6,215,000,000|
|Percent of those ever born who are living in 2002||5.8|
Let’s assume for simple math that there have been 100,000,000,000 or 100 billion people who have lived and are yet to live on the earth before then end of time.
For purposes of a simple mathematical look at the idea of sexually producing pre-existent spirit beings to people the next earth, the LDS man who becomes a god would have his hands full working at a high speed assembly line rate and assuming that every single ‘encounter’ produces a spirit child.
If you estimate the rate is:
1 CELESTIAL IMPREGNATION EVERY 5 MINUTES
12 PER HOUR
1728 IMPREGNANTIONS EVERY WEEK [NOT COUNTNGTHE SABBATH, LDS DAY OF REST]
89,856 per year
Assuming he is able to say hello, arrange the physical situation, impregnate the wife, and be at the next goddess in less than 5 minutes, the maximum goddesses would have to be about 90,000 with another non sexual 10,000 or so to take care of the babies for the goddess wives who rush back into this baby factory assembly line. This is not counting bathroom breaks, eating or sleeping…
Let’s assume that this man god is working day and night at just his reproductive responsibilities of one goddess every 5 minutes, it would take 11,128,917 years of nonstop, vigorous sexual action to create all the spirit beings for a place like earth.
A more laid back god who might want to spend some quality time with his “families are forever” wives and children would perhaps like to give them each one hour of his entire year and get one impregnation at the family home. However, this man god would have to spend 12 times as many years… (Over 133 million), at the rate of 1 impregnation per hour.
And the Mormons call that heaven?
I’d like to personally thank Ed for sending me an e-mail last week with his findings on this information! Isn’t it sad to see that this is what it all boils down to – just finding enough time to impregnate the wife so she can be eternally pregnant? What a “pearl of great price” for us females to look forward to in heaven. It reminds me of my personal studies I began at the end of my Mormon life. I prayed to God that He’d send me to hell if the only thing I had to look forward to was being eternally pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children, but honestly….
LDS doctrine says that we (females) have pregnancies that last nine months just as they do here on earth. So in my head I’m thinking that I’ll be pregnant, give birth and have just enough time to take the baby to a sister wife to baby-sit for me while I go in to perform my eternal “blessings” of being pregnant again. I can’t imagine sitting around the Thanksgiving table in heaven always being pregnant, always having morning sickness, and always needing to know when to expect my polygamous god husband to visit me again. When do we throw in some time for worshipping our Lord? The Apostle Orson Pratt said this in The Seer, pg. 37-38;
“Each God, through his wife or wives, raises up a numerous family of sons and daughters…each father and mother will be in a condition to multiply forever and ever. As soon as each God has begotten many millions of male and female spirits, and his Heavenly inheritance becomes too small, to comfortably accommodate his great family, he, in connection with his sons, organizes a new world… where he sends both the male and female spirits to inhabit tabernacles of flesh and bones…. The inhabitants of each world are required to reverence, adore, and worship their own personal father who dwells in the Heaven which they formerly inhabited…If we admit that one personage was the Father of all this great family and that they were all born of the same Mother, the period of time intervening between the birth of the oldest and the youngest spirit must have been immense. If we suppose, as an average, that only one year intervened between each birth, then it would have required over one hundred thousand million of years for the same Mother to have given birth to this vast family…”
Now I’m not a feminist, nor am I “out to take revenge upon the men of Mormonism”. However, as a grown woman I am asking female Mormons who read this to just think about this scenario for a moment. The Apostle Pratt wants for you to believe that you are going to be eternally pregnant. The old saying in Mormonism “I’ll find out when I get there” should be tossed from any thinking person’s vocabulary. You’ll find out what heaven’s really like once you get there, but friend, it’s going to be too late! The true Father in Heaven has a much greater plan for you than the one proposed here!
The theory of “families are forever” is sweet in a way. When you have little kids running about they’ll ask questions about heaven and one of those questions would more than likely be “will we be together in heaven” yet the theory is very childish when you really think of it. Why would you expect what you have here to be the ultimate blessing that God is preparing for you in heaven?
I’ve been married for 22-plus years to a wonderful man and cannot imagine my earthly life here without him by my side. However, in heaven I am expecting something other than a marriage to a created man.
The Bible tells us that our Bridegroom is Jesus Christ Himself and the Church (body of Christ) is His beloved bride. John 3:29-30 has to be one of the most comforting couple of verses in all of the Bible. Read here what the Bible has to say;
“He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. 30 He must increase, but I must decrease.”
I’m looking forward to being in God’s presence all day, everyday! I’m looking forward to seeing friends and loved ones who are already there, worshipping and falling at the feet of the Bridegroom and doing whatever He has for me to do. The thought of being eternally pregnant doesn’t just make me sick physically, but my heart as well. The Mormon Church teaches the exact opposite of what the Bible teaches about a “true marriage” in heaven.
For years I’ve told people that Mormonism was built upon two things; sex and godhood. The quote from Orson Pratt wasn’t just some odd teaching I searched through the archives of Mormonism in order to present a sensationalistic past teaching. These teachings and discussions are being propagated even today in the LDS Church. Here is what Hyrum L. Andrus had to say in his work Doctrines of the Kingdom, pg. 444;
“Joseph F. Smith said: “The lawful association of the sexes is ordained of God, not only as the sole means of race perpetuation, but for the development of the higher faculties and nobler traits of human nature, which the love-inspired companionship of man and woman alone can insure.”
The Bible says nothing about sex being the “nobler trait of man”, nor does it tell us that we will become gods. On the contrary God tells us numerous times that He is the Only God; He is the Only Savior; and that He Alone is the Creator!
For one moment I would ask any Mormon this question and have them ponder about this: “What kind of god are you worshipping”? If sex and godhood are the best things this god has to offer, I invite you to accept and know the One True God of All – His name is Jesus.
With Love in Christ;
1 Cor. 1:18