Abuse
Ensign, May 1992, pg. 31; “The victim must do all in his or her power to stop the abuse. Most often, the victim is innocent because of being disabled by fear or the power or authority of the offender. At some point in time, however, the Lord may prompt a victim to recognize a degree of responsibility for abuse. Your priesthood leader will help assess your responsibility so that, if needed, it can be addressed…
As a victim, do not waste effort in revenge or retribution against your aggressor. Focus on your responsibility to do what is in your power to correct. Leave the handling of the offender to civil and Church authorities. Whatever they do, eventually the guilty will face the Perfect Judge. Ultimately the unrepentant abuser will be punished by a just God.” – Richard Scott
Psalm 18:45-48; “The strangers shall fade away, and be afraid out of their close places. 46 The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted. 47 It is God that avengeth me, and subdueth the people under me. 48 He delivereth me from mine enemies: yea, thou liftest me up above those that rise up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man.”
EXCUSE ME??? How could a young child be responsible for stopping any abuse? How could they ever be responsible for even a shred of any abuse taking place? Who do these people think they are assessing the victim’s responsibility? Shame, shame on them.
I am so glad you are addressing this issue! In my book Loved into the Light, in chapter 16 “Is the Church Safe or Judgmental,” I address this very subject as well.
Here are more statements made by Apostles and leaders of the Mormon Church:
• “There is no true Latter-day Saint who would not rather bury a son or daughter than to have him or her lose his or her chastity — realizing that chastity is of more value than anything else in all the world.” Heber J. Grant, quoted in The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball
Never, never, never does God say that we must accept responsibility for the sin of another person! When Christ was crucified, the Romans did everything they could to humiliate and torture the Son of God. According to Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus was stripped of his clothes and mocked (Matthew 27:35). No one knows for certain whether or not Jesus himself was raped. What we do know is that in the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ flogging, it is entirely possible that Jesus was naked while he was beaten. We also know that sexual violence was used in the ancient world both by the Romans and by other ancient cultures. There was an element of sexual humiliation in the torture Jesus went through.
Remember, the Bible says that Jesus was without sin (2 Corinthians 5:21). Jesus willingly surrendered; He did not fight; yet He remained without sin. The Word of God does not say in any way that what He endured was His fault. Nor did His father say to Jesus that someone would show Him which responsibility was His in this violation! No, Jesus suffered through no fault of His own. He chose to take this upon Himself solely because He loved us and wanted to save us.
Recognizing a Safe Church
When you belong to a judgmental church, guilt becomes your new companion. Remember, the enemy is the one that comes to condemn, not Christ. Safe churches do not condemn, inflict guilt or use control. They allow you to keep your free agency and make decisions for yourself based on your own conviction from the Holy Spirit.
A safe church will not cause fear of judgment. Fear is not of God. When you are hearing truth from your church, you will experience His grace. You will not be afraid to make mistakes or voice your opinion when they differ from your leaders. Your leaders will respect your individuality and boundaries.
Go to YourKingdomInheritance.wordpress.com for more on this chapter.
(Who do these people think they are assessing the victim’s responsibility?)
I find that my reading of the article shows the victim how to start with little steps and them work up to full healing. Unlike what you seem to be saying, the author speaks of the victim’s ability to control what he thinks and how he acts; and how important forgiveness is import to the victim’s progression.
fred
Here is more of the artical so you can see the context.
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Healing best begins with your sincere prayer asking your Father in Heaven for help. That use of your agency allows divine intervention. When you permit it, the love of the Savior will soften your heart, break the cycle of abuse that can transform a victim into an aggressor. Adversity, even when caused willfully by others’ unrestrained appetite, can be a source of growth when viewed from the perspective of eternal principle. (See D&C 122:7.)
The victim must do all in his or her power to stop the abuse. Most often, the victim is innocent because of being disabled by fear or the power or authority of the offender. At some point in time, however, the Lord may prompt a victim to recognize a degree of responsibility for abuse. Your priesthood leader will help assess your responsibility so that, if needed, it can be addressed.
Otherwise the seeds of guilt will remain and sprout into bitter fruit. Yet no matter what degree of responsibility, from absolutely none to increasing consent, the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ can provide a complete cure. (See D&C 138:1–4.) Forgiveness can be obtained for all involved in abuse. (See A of F 1:3.) Then comes a restoration of self-respect, self-worth, and a renewal of life.
As a victim, do not waste effort in revenge or retribution against your aggressor. Focus on your responsibility to do what is in your power to correct. Leave the handling of the offender to civil and Church authorities. Whatever they do, eventually the guilty will face the Perfect Judge. Ultimately the unrepentant abuser will be punished by a just God. The purveyors of filth and harmful substances who knowingly incite others to acts of violence and depravation and those who promote a climate of permissiveness and corruption will be sentenced. Predators who victimize the innocent and justify their own corrupted life by enticing others to adopt their depraved ways will be held accountable. Of such the Master warned:
“But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” (Matt. 18:6.)
Understand that healing can take considerable time. Recovery generally comes in steps. It is accelerated when gratitude is expressed to the Lord for every degree of improvement noted.
http://www.lds.org/ensign/1992/05/healing-the-tragic-scars-of-abuse?lang=eng
I think there’s been a misunderstanding here Fred. The comments they made in that one paragraph are poison. It is NOT the place for a church bishop to “assess” what part the victim can play in this scenario. Other than turning the OFFENDER in to the cops it’s really none of his business unless he’s referring the victim to a PROFESSIONAL therapist. Remember, the ENTIRE Church is made up of lay people, thus, disqualifying themselves from performing in a professional capacity.
They can throw scripture around when it’s convenient for them to do so but even that looks disingenuous in light of the 2nd article of faith – the Bible’s only reliable when it’s been translated correctly. You don’t have to try and defend the Church when they’re so blatantly wrong.
It’s sad indeed when the Church leadership makes comments like these and then wonder why the suicide rate is alarmingly high in Utah and the Inter-mountain West.
Michelle
(It is NOT the place for a church bishop to “assess” what part the victim can play in this scenario.)
A careful reading of the article will show that the bishop and others are there to help the victim work his/her way back to full health. The article does not support what you are saying.
fred
Why would the victim have to do what the Mormons say? To me, I would leave to get help from police, etc. The victim should NOT have to do these things to try and get the abuse to stop! I can’t imagine having to do that at all.
Follow the link and read the whole article and you will see that it is more about how the victim can work to heal himself/herself after getting help stopping the abuse.
I’ve already provided the info necessary if someone wants to read it.